How to Stop Bearing a Grudge against Someone
“Nursing a grudge is like arguing with a policeman. The more you do it, the worse things get.” It won’t just get worse with the relationship you are having with the person you’re holding a grudge with. It will also negatively affect your well being. Bearing a grudge is a stress and it will affect your physical and mental health status.
Put yourself in this kind of situation. You work in an office and you have a co-worker there who is your friend. The two of you have the same position in the company ladder. One day, your boss announced that one of you will be promoted depending on your performance. So you worked your ass off. Everyone in the company loved you. You have become a “model employee” so to speak.
The day of the promotion arrived and you were expecting to be promoted. But to your dismay, it was your friend who was promoted. You got angry with him. You never spoke to him again. You talk about him, bad mouthing him with co-workers. You are bearing a grudge on somebody and you like it. You like it that you hate him – that you are angry with him.
Such feelings of hatred and anger would be normal reactions for people in those kinds of situation. But if that feeling stays for a long time, it will burden you. Bearing a grudge will leave you carrying a very heavy luggage. And just like carrying a real luggage, if you have been carrying it for so long, there will come a time that you won’t be able to carry it anymore. The burden is just too great and you will give up. In this case, give up on life.
By bearing a grudge on somebody, you are in pain. But you are the one who is giving yourself pain. By holding a grudge, you’re depriving yourself of enjoying life. By doing this, you are giving yourself stress which will affect your health.
You can’t help yourself from starting to feel bad against someone especially if they have wronged you. But if you let this feeling linger for too long then you are already bearing a grudge on that someone. So how do stop bearing a grudge? The answer is forgiveness.
Forgiving someone is not an easy task. It takes a lot of understanding of the other person on why he or she has done you wrong. You may agree or disagree with the reason but the main idea here is you forgive not because for that person or your relationship, but you forgive for your own benefit - To live a happier and healthier life.
When you forgive, you replace the feeling of anger with feelings of good will. You will stop thinking about the situation in the context of anger.
By letting go of your anger, you also stop bearing a grudge. This will immensely affect your physical and mental health status in a positive way. You’ll be able to live a happier and healthier life.