How to Say “No” When You Need To
Whether you admit it or not, you are one of those people who find it hard to say “No” to a request or turn down a favor from a friend or colleague. Normally, though you are aware how full your schedule is or how difficult it would be to do something you are asked to, you always end up saying “Yes,” although your mind says “No.”
Below are some tips that will surely help you get over the fright of saying that two letter word again next time.
You Can’t Please Everybody. Remember, you can’t please everybody; so stop doing so. If you think that doing your crush’s paper while you have your own paper due the next day is a smart move, then you are definitely wrong. You might want to give an impression that you are smart, you can handle anything and that you are in total control. But be wary, because before you know it, you’re already headed towards doom. Worst case scenario, you will be able to make a flawless project for her and you won’t be able to pass any for yourself.
Be Honest. If your boss asked you to do a report for him while you are still juggling the heaps of paperwork due very soon, then you might as well be honest enough to tell him that you are rushing something and you’re afraid that you won’t be able to do what he’s asking. However, in turning down a job given by your boss, be sure that you said no because you really can’t do it and not just because you just feel lazy.
Nevertheless, before accepting any order, think it over a hundred times if you’re really capable of finishing it on time. Based on a study by North Carolina researchers, people over commit because they expect to have more time in the future than they do in the present. So, next time, before taking the plunge, consult your planner first then decide if it’s really a “Yes” or a “No.”
Be Selfish. I know that greed is one of the Seven Capital sins, but being selfish, in the sense that you think of your welfare first before pleasing everyone, is not bad. If a friend is borrowing money from you and you are on a tight budget, don’t be afraid to say “No.”
Turning down someone when you really can’t help him is not bad. You wouldn’t want to sacrifice your allowance for the next few weeks just to help your friend, would you? On the other hand, if do you feel that your friend is really in dire need of money, do offer to help him to look for a potential person to borrow some moolah from. In this way, you will feel less guilty of not being able to lend him some.
Stop Carrying the World. You are the leader of a school play. You offer to write the script and you took the job of bringing in costumes for everyone when they asked you to. You even agreed to do the invitations and posters when the publicity committee told you they can’t do them because they are preoccupied with other school stuff. But, hey, at least they promised to help you out with giving away the invites and posting the announcement.
Get real! You are not Superman to save the day and be everybody’s assistant; so stop acting like one. While it’s understandable that you want everything to be all right as the leader of the group, carrying the load of their tasks for them is not beneficial. You’re teaching your members to be more indolent rather than be responsible
If in Doubt, Don’t. When your superior is asking you to be the person in charge for a big company project and you feel that you don’t have enough capacity, yet, to lead it, then say “thank you” for being chosen but politely decline the request. It is easier to turn down something you are not sure of than to get out of an embarrassing situation when you can’t handle the responsibility well.