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How to Cope with a Loved One’s Death
Losing someone special to you is one of the hardest things that you have to face in your life. The different stages of denial, anger, guilt, depression and loneliness are overpowering, but who says you can’t overcome them? You can, if you only help yourself.
Remember, you are not given something that you won’t be able to handle. Although there is no right way to get over a death, below are just some of the possible things you can do to help you cope with the death of a loved one.
Cry. Don’t be afraid to cry. Crying is a very essential part of grieving. Keeping the pain inside won’t do you any good. Hiding yourself in a mask, portraying to others that you are perfectly fine, is not a good way to handle your emotions. Because, in one way or the other, it will eventually surface.
Weeping is not a sign of being weak; it’s a natural thing, and even boys do cry. Also, a study was made that sad tears were found to have the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors. Therefore, it is only through crying that you can release those toxins; and if you hold back your tears, the toxic waters will find a place in your body where it can build up a huge amount of internal pollution.
Talk About Your Feelings. Seek support and understanding from close friends and families. Now is the time to be surrounded by people whom you can find comfort, especially in times when depression hits you. As Mitch Albom puts it in his book “Tuesdays with Morrie,” you must feel the pain completely then learn to detach from it.
Take Care of Yourself. You lose a loved one but it doesn’t mean that you have to forget about yourself. Sure enough, functioning properly in the midst of melancholy is hard but try at least. Not sleeping, eating or locking yourself in your room, and avoiding contact with people is hazardous to your health. I’m sure your loved one doesn’t want seeing you in that state also.
Stop Questioning. Some things really happen for a reason. It may be hard to decipher for now but time will come that you’ll realize why someone special was taken away from you. Questioning “Why me?” is part of the anger stage when you lose someone close to you. But, then, you have to slowly help yourself get out of this phase and just accept the fact that God has His own reason for everything and all you can do is Trust Him.
Focus on What’s Left. Sometimes, when you are in a grieving period, you tend to overlook the important tasks and persons that are still with you. You are too stuck up with your emotions that you forget that there are still people who need you. Give yourself a good cry and time to mourn, but concentrate also on all the good things and people who are still in your life and be thankful.
Be Patient with Yourself. Getting over the loss of someone you love takes time. It would take months or, even years, so be patient. You don’t have to force yourself to recover from the loss immediately. You can’t tell yourself to get beyond everything in a month or so. Remember, time heals all wounds. Though the wound from losing someone special may not be completely healed by time, at least it helps you to get used to the loss and eventually paves way for your full acceptance of reality.