Harmony at Home = Success
Success and happiness versus questionable success and happiness: That’s the topic of this article. In which category do you fall? Do you know?
Let’s take a look at what both are defined as and then discuss what makes up each.
Two couples. Both with six members in their families. The wife of each is a first grade teacher for a well-known elementary school in the area. Both husbands are entrepreneurs, but in different industries.
Higher middle-class and little to no debt. The wife is a God-fearing woman who tries to do right by her family. The husband goes to church with her on occasion. The children go with their mom as often as she goes (twice a week).
Middle middle-class with a ton of debt. The husband tries to do what’s right, being the leader of the family. He tries to lead Spiritually as well. Although not perfect, he is a God-fearing man and his wife follows his example.
Now, even though this is not a religious topic, it’s important to see the background of each person in this example so you know where they are physically, spiritually and emotionally as much as possible.
Now that you know a little more about each couple, which one do you think is more happy and feels more successful at home?
If you say couple one, why?
If you say couple two, why?
Well, I’ll tell you. Couple two would be considered more successful and happy – even though they have more debt and earn less money. You see, it’s not about the amount of money made. It’s not about the places you go or the people you know.
Being successful at home starts in the home. Square one is the couple and how they deal with every little situation that effects their family.
The very things that could destroy their marriage are the very things that strengthen their commitment to each other and to their family.
Here are just three of the intangible things that you must have to make your home a success. There are many more. But start with these, and you’ll notice a huge difference if you’re not using them already.
Even though couple one has more debt, they understand what that means. They have pegged the problem, talked about how to overcome it and are constantly keeping open lines of communication open to get rid of the debt. They don’t play the blame game. The are a couple and they work through it as a couple. Another key to this is to not fall into the debt trap again. They understand that and have communicated to each other that it won’t happen again.
Compassion is something you must give away for it to be effective in a relationship. When someone wrongs you, if you have compassion for them, it’s called forgiveness. If you see someone less fortunate than you, and you give to them, it’s call charity. If you are married and you continually forgive and give unconditionally to your spouse, it’s called love. Compassion is the epitome of unselfishness. You need it to be successful in the home.
Let’s not pain a Pollyanna picture here without bumps, bruises, troubles or trials. The truth is there will be problems along the way. Tempers will flare. People will get hurt. But just knowing this can help you get through it. If you decide right now, that when you DO get hurt – and you will – that you will deal with it in a way that will help you get through it, the intensity of the blow will be lessened exponentially. This is a powerful coping strategy. There are millions of people today who haven’t been raised, taught or conditioned with the ability to cope with problems they face during life. That’s one reason depression rates have skied in the past 10 years.
The good news coping isn’t too difficult. Most of the time you can prepare ahead of time to cope before your situation even arises. If you can do that, you’ve won before you even have to get started. It’s as simple as a decision.
These three areas are where couple number two started. That’s where a lot of their harmony in the home comes from. There are a lot of other tools and strategies that can be used. But master these three and you’ll be ahead of the happiness at home curve.